


we always find our way back to each other

by creativitea



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x20, Getting Back Together, M/M, desperate kisses and lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativitea/pseuds/creativitea
Summary: starts with the scenes at the hunter's moon, and continues a little from there.





	we always find our way back to each other

 

 

He was half expecting it when Alec approached him, that he wanted to talk about them. It wasn't hard to read (especially not for Magnus) that the smalltalk was just to keep idle, warm him up, test the waters that had been still.

And he'd honestly been wanting to as well, but some weird sense of pride he didn't even care to keep intact kept holding him back from making the first move. So he was nervous and hesistant when Alec asked him to talk, but only because it would be a talk that mattered. So he emptied the drink in his hand before following Alec outside, just to settle his nerves a little before going out there. 

 

Alec starts with apologizing again.

_"It's in the past..."_ Magnus tries, but doesn't sound too convincing. He really wants to be done with it, though he knows the trust needs to be rebuilt.

 

* * *

 

 

_"Ever since our fights... I can't think straight."_ Alec admits, gambling with his heart, almost ready to be shot down; but he just can't live with the regret of not having tried. The past 24 hours had proved what distance had already told him; he doesn't just want Magnus, he needs him. 

 

_"I can't do anything... without thinking of you.."_ Magnus gives in. Admits it like hurts him to, but also like it would hurt more not to. Yes; he'd been trying to turn the thoughts of Alec into anger because that made it easier to push him away, it was easier to act annoyed and cold if pain from missing him had already turned him numb; but being alone together again, forced to face Alec's regret and hurt about all of this, melts it away a little. 

 

Alec puts all his cards on the table. His lack of honesty started this, so he has nothing to lose by admitting this.

_"I don't think I can live without you"_

He says not as if he wants to die, but like Magnus makes him feel more alive. Shakes his head, similarly to how Magnus's reaction to the first time Alec said he loved him, like just imagining a life without Magnus in it is hard to process. 

Magnus doesn't feel manipulated to make the choice that means being with Alec, both because it's what he actually wants himself, but also because he knows Alec doesn't mean it as a threat; but as a way to tell Magnus how significant he is. Which honestly just makes the choice easier. 

 

_"A wise man once told me..; 'relationships take effort'. "_ Magnus mimics Alec's voice when he quotes him, a little to release tension,  but mostly just because he's missed teasing him lovingly. 

Alec's face melts into a smile. He's missed it too.

_"Well, that was an understatement."_  

Laughter breaks out of Magnus, because it's true. He'd meant it when he said he was all for effort, but neither of them could've realized the weight of those words back then. He's still all for effort, even though it hurts; because he also knows how happy Alec makes him. He needs him just as much.

 

_"You know what's not an understatement?"_ Magnus looks at him with intention, like they both know the answer. Like he has his aim on Alec. And then he moves into a kiss that says it all. Their kiss is not an understatement. Forgiveness is not an understatement. The way Magnus feels about him is not an understatement. Their relationship is not an understatement. Them together is no understatement.  And it will ~~probably~~ definitely take effort, but it will pay off.

 

 

 

* * *

 

_"I'm all for parties, but what do you say we get out of here?"_ Magnus invites Alec drunkenly (more so on Alec than alcohol). Alec, just as drunk on him (if not more), doesn't have a single inch of hesitation. Of course. Obviously. 

Magnus wraps Alec's arm around him like it's back where it belongs, and Alec leans in like his heart agrees with that. Like he's sinking into where he's supposed to be. 

 

 

When they're finally both back home there's no door or wall between them, Magnus drags Alec in and locks the door behind him. Pins him against the door and giggles kisses into him. Alec just closes his eyes and feels nothing but relief and Magnus, and an overwhelming sense of being where he belongs. (Whether that's in this apartment or simply in Magnus embrace, he doesn't know. Probably both. But mostly the latter.)

Magnus releases Alec for a moment, only to lead him to the sofa, where he removes their jackets(which end up on the floor) and he towers over Alec where he sits, like it's to keep him there. 

He places kisses on his neck and shoulders, leans back to look at him for a moment. Alec's hand cups his face, and a "I missed you" slips out from both of them without actually being spoken.

Magnus uses the hands he's holding onto Alec's shoulders with to pull his face towards him for another kiss. One that makes the still unspoken "I missed you" come across just a bit louder. 

Alec's hands reach to touch Magnus as their kisses deepen, but they stay cautious. Magnus's hands are not. 

His hands are clinging to the man in front of them, like they're trying to confirm he's there. 

They move into his hair, and Alec's hands land on Magnus's chest, where they can probably feel his heartrate be as much of a mess as the rest of Magnus insides feel right now. 

At some point, they pull back from desperate kisses with closed eyes just to catch their breath. Like they've been holding their breath until now. 

 

 

For each kiss, as it gets more and more desperate, it gets clearer and clearer where the evening is heading. With the clarity Alec becomes more aware of the possibility that it's just for tonight (He trusts Magnus to be honest with him, so he doesn't think that's the case, but he's aware that it could be), but he decides he doesn't care if it is. 

Even if all he gets is temporary bliss, he'll take it. He'll take it because it still means he gets to be with Magnus now, and that's all that seems to matter after being apart. 

So any residue of hesitation disappears, because he can't afford anything else than to be in the moment, when now is all Magnus, Magnus all over him.

 

 

His touches turn to tugs at his shirt, so Alec's hands run over the buttons on Magnus's shirt as a response. He bites on Alec's lower lip, short of breath, with hands pressing Alec's chest like it's a pause-button, and Alec pulls back just in case Magnus has changed his mind. 

He looks at Magnus slightly terrified, but Magnus can't see the fear in his eyes because his eyes are still shut. His hands are now clinging onto Alec's shirt, while he's taking a deep breath, like he's preparing for something.

 

_"I love you, Alexander_ " He opens his eyes with a scared flutter, and his cat-eyes are revealed, and even if their clothes are still on, it's like seeing Magnus naked again. 

Alec is still in awe of how beautiful Magnus is like this, and he lets it show. 

_"I love you too"_

 

* * *

 

 

When they wake up, there's no rush anywhere, not even as a joke.

There is an unspoken confirmation between them that last night was actually about reconnecting. That neither of them wants to be anywhere else right now.

Alec's heart melts when he sees their pictures and the omamori-charm on Magnus's nightstand, and Magnus smiles guiltily when he realizes he's busted.

Alec drowsily reaches for Magnus's hand, so Magnus leans into him as he grabs it. 

This time, when he gets a flashback of the morning after their first time, it doesn't hurt, because Alec is right here.  _"So.. what are you afraid of?"_ Magnus asks so quietly Alec might not even have heard it.

Which Magnus almost suspects, since Alec stays quiet for a while before answering.

Because it just sounds so silly, but it's been proven to be the truth, so he just admits it;  _"Losing you"._

_"Maybe that sounds stupid and desperate, but that's what you make me"_ He adds hazily, like he's not aware he's saying it out loud. (to be fair, it is early)

_"It sounds relatable, more than anything."_ Magnus squeezes his hand.

_"And don't worry.."_ he smiles at Alec drowzily and dopily, in the best possible way. _"You can't get rid of me that easily."_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
